https://share.descript.com/view/tMYCoWd1abq

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/siliconvalleyliving/episodes/JP-the-Veteran-Coach-e2f05p1

https://financiaintelligence.blogspot.com/2024/01/jp-veteran-coach.html

• 00:00 Introduction and Guest Background
• 01:47 JP's Early Life and Joining the Marines
• 02:57 Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life
• 04:31 Struggles and Self-Realization
• 06:57 Turning Life Around and Starting Vet Rights Academy
• 07:41 The Importance of Community and Accountability
• 09:50 The Power of Vulnerability and Personal Growth
• 11:11 The Role of Military Service in Personal Identity
• 13:12 The Importance of Moving Forward and Creating New Chapters
• 15:25 Building a Supportive Community for Veterans
• 16:27 The Power of Embracing Discomfort and Personal Growth
• 34:23 Reflecting on Military Service
• 35:01 The Impact of War on Mental Health
• 35:39 Sharing Personal Stories of Loss
• 37:12 The Struggle with Survivor's Guilt
• 37:27 The Importance of Open Dialogue
• 37:46 Learning from Failure
• 38:16 The Aftermath of Military Service
• 39:39 The Transition from Military to Civilian Life
• 43:28 The Struggle with Identity Post-Service
• 46:19 The Importance of Mental Health and Self-Care
• 49:44 The Power of Community and Connection
• 53:10 The Journey of Personal Growth
• 56:02 The Impact of Military Culture
• 01:00:10 The Struggle for Change and Improvement
• 01:03:38 The Power of Resilience and Perseverance
• 01:09:21 The Importance of Setting Goals

JP the Veteran Coach

Introduction and Guest Background

All right, I'm going to start over again and do this whole intro. Today we're talking to JP and he is a Marine veteran and I met him on TikTok and this guy,  he's got such a great point of transitioning from the military active service to civilian and it's such a great mindset and Patrick, I don't know if you had a chance to watch any of his videos but it's just  You know, you're going to have shit days, right?

And I, when I transitioned out, I had so many horrible days. For me, my, my bridge was. I wanted to find people that were like me, that had that same story, so what I did was I created this program where I go back to my, I went to San Jose State, graduated there, and they have  they have the VRC, the Veterans Resource Center, so there's a plethora of veterans there, and I go there and talk to them about selling houses, I don't try to sell them on anything, I'm  about buying houses, creating legacy, creating budget, and then this whole financial thing started, and that's where we are today. 

And then I also help out with this thing called NovaVet, which is it's just a, it's a directory of how veterans can get help,  gives them, gives, points them in the right direction for whatever else, whether it's drug abuse, mental issues, financial, what have you. And there's a bunch of different ways for them to help out there. 

And then I see JP and he's you're like a perfect fit for this, right? You're like the perfect fit. And once you explain. Who you are, what you are, where you came from, what your passion is, how you fell into this.  Yeah, absolutely. 

JP's Early Life and Joining the Marines

First of all, I want to say thank you Vito and Patrick for taking time to be with me here today.

I really appreciate it. It's it's a beautiful thing when you can come together and share and communicate and just, grow as individuals. So I always cherish these opportunities.  So my name is Juan Perez coach JP on the line and a little bit about me. I grew up in Chicago.

And when I was growing up,  yeah, I I didn't make the smartest of decisions. I didn't have my head screwed on just right. And as much as my parents love to try and steer me in the right direction, I rebelled a little bit. I got in trouble. And you know what? I ended up getting expelled from a few high schools.

I ended up going to a total of four different high schools. Wow. And yeah, and it was all my doing. But back then, the thing is I didn't recognize that. Of course, you don't know anything at that age. You think you know everything. And  the reason I'm mentioning this is because it's a huge point of what I talk about now during transition.

So when you join, you're 18, you don't know what the hell you're doing. Thankfully, I met a teacher that set my head right and put me on the right path. And I joined the Marine Corps. Went off. I did the Marine thing. I had a beautiful, freaking amazing time. I was I was stationed in Pendleton. 

Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life

I was a 3rd Battalion, 1st Marines, and I was infantryman, deployed to Afghanistan, came back,  went out for the Scout Sniper Platoon, did the end up did well, went off to sniper school, came back, and  at the time, I was dating this girl, and of course, hindsight is always 20 20, but, My decision at the time was it's time to get out and move on and see what else is out there, and I had no idea just how challenging it would be.

And the reason why it's so challenging is because you feel like,  think of it this way. I was a 21 year old scout sniper team leader in charge of  young men  feeling like I was indestructible. I just deployed to Afghanistan and I came back. I was absolutely at what I felt was the prime of my life.  And then,  over a weekend, I lose my culture, I lose my best friends, I lose my leadership, my mentors, my peer group, the people that I was in charge with, my subordinates in a way, everything I knew. 

And then I come into a society that honestly, I was never really a part of. When you're 18, The hell do you know, right? So  one of the biggest things that I thought about is that we have to understand that we're not coming back into a society, we've never really been a part of society. You're 18.

When you join you, you ship off, you come back. You really have to work very hard to leverage the positive things that the military gave you.  You really have to work hard to leverage the things that the military has taught you that actually benefit you.  And a little bit about me. I didn't do that. 

Struggles and Self-Realization

I did the exact opposite.

I came home.  First place I went to was the VFW, and I met up with some Marines that were there, and I did all the things that I talked about not doing now, which is, you wear all the military, garb, and you wear it every day, and there's nothing wrong with being proud of who you are, I'm wearing a 3 1 Lima company hoodie that they just made, and I found it online, and I'm proud of what I've done, but the thing is it can't consume you, it can't be  the coolest thing you've ever done.

So I got out, I did that, I thankfully found some Marines that helped guide me in the right direction, but I  got married right away.  I took a job as a law enforcement officer right away because I thought that's what's next for me. I kept doing the drinking heavily. I picked up the habit of smoking a cigarette because I felt like I needed something to decompress.

I hated society. I hated civilians. I felt judged.  I judged everybody. I let the lone wolf alpha mentality completely control me. And I do mean control because In the moment, you feel like you're in control,  but I feel like I was not in control.  And then I got  my mind because I went down this path of a lot of negative issues.

Divorce, overweight, 30 to 40 pounds overweight,  just completely controlled by the alcohol, completely pushed my family away, any friend that I had. All I knew was hanging out with veterans, specifically Marines, because you find this echo chamber of everybody else is terrible, and you're the best ones, and like  It consumes you  and then slowly but surely I realized just how miserable I was and I started realizing like this is self induced suffering. 

And there's a difference between self induced suffering and kind of intentional hardships, right? It's like intentional hardships, like I choose to jump in the ice barrel every morning. But self induced suffering is basically pointless suffering in my opinion where like I  decided that I'm going to alienate myself from everyone around me, possibly to benefit me.

I decided that I'm not going to go to therapy. I decided that.  My family doesn't understand me and screw up for that. I decided that I'm going to do this and that and it was all my doing.  However, I do believe that recognition is its own reward where you realize that because you've gotten yourself to this place, because of everything that you've done,  it's also in your power to change it and of course correct.

Turning Life Around and Starting Vet Rights Academy

That's what I did.  I hired a trainer. I started working out. I quit drinking cold turkey. I quit smoking cold turkey. I completely changed my mindset. I started reading every single day and applying the things. I religiously listened to podcasts and audiobooks. I didn't listen to music anymore. It was just an awakening.

It was an awakening of me realizing if I keep going down this path, I'm gonna end up dead. I'm gonna end up dead because eventually it's to a point where  the more you feel like you're in the darkness it's not gonna just get brighter magically. The the light doesn't just shine through you.

You keep placing yourself in the darkness by covering your eyes and pushing yourself deeper into the freaking dark abyss of that cave.  And I made changes, like I said, and I got my life right.  

The Importance of Community and Accountability

Now, I  have a company,  Vet Rights Academy, and the purpose of it is to start with the foundation of helping veterans have a successful transition, but  it's founded in four pillars of fitness, nutrition, accountability, and community,  and the accountability part goes much deeper than just hey, did you do the workout, or hey, have you been eating the right food?

It's hey, listen, I noticed that you haven't done two workouts this week, why?  And then you have a conversation, you detach, and you figure out okay, are you, Having nightmares and staying up late at night, what's coming up for you? Hey, Huck, let me address this, okay? This, and the point of it is that I want to help build up the veteran to where he can feel strong enough to like go to the therapy that he's been wishing that he could have been going to for a while.

To where he can feel strong enough to leave a relationship, to where he builds up confidence.  And you can get the better paying job, ask for the promotion, not push his family away.  Let go of the ego, eventually drop it.  And the whole goal of it is to build community and help the veterans see that you're not alone. 

And understand that fitness is the foundation because if you feel confident, if you can wake up early and get a workout and eat the right foods and do a morning habit.  Develop a morning routine. Before you know it, if you're consistent, you're going to start to feel that little spark of motivation that everybody craves, right? 

And in my opinion, motivation comes and goes, absolutely. But what you're really looking for, the magic word, the magic sauce, it's not even discipline. People love the word discipline. I have nothing, I love the word discipline. There's nothing wrong with that. But the thing is, a lot of people tie discipline with, logic and  that it's something that should be automatic if you really care about something.

But I think that you do have to look into the emotion a little bit. And I think for me,  when I think about like, why am I doing this? Why is this important? The word devotion comes up for me.  And I think that if you're devoted to something, I think that if you're really devoted, you understand the why. And if you understand the why, you can build the passion.

If you have a passion, the discipline will come.  By God, do we know that when we have discipline, that motivation is just there for you.  

The Power of Vulnerability and Personal Growth

I apologize for the ramble. No, dude, you keep going. You just keep motivating the hell out of me. Keep going.  Thank you. So you have four pillars. You talked about therapy and fitness.

What were the other two? We focus on nutrition, fitness, nutrition, accountability, and community. And the goal of it is to get you to a point where you feel a  little bit of more confidence to pick up that phone. And schedule that therapy appointment that you've been putting off.  The goal of it is that two, three months in you throw on a pair of freaking pants that  you tried on three months ago and they didn't fit you.

And because you tried them on and they didn't fit you, all these feelings came up. Because we all know that when something happens like that you realize you make all these connections of My pants don't fit me. I'm fat. I'm overweight. Oh, I'm distrusting. I'm a failure. I'm a failure. This is why I can't get the job.

This is why my wife hates me. This is why my kids don't want to spend time with me. This is why. And before you know it, like you're spiraling.  And the hope is that when we can get you to fit back in those pants or make those smaller little limbs, like you're like, damn,  this is why I'm a winner.

This is why I'm succeeding. This is why I do care about my life. This is why I matter. This is why there is.  Success after service. There is a life after what we've done.  And all of it comes together  in the message that I've been talking about.  

The Role of Military Service in Personal Identity

The byproduct of the business that I started was the fact that I did start making videos online and  I started having more of a developed opinion.

And honestly the most beautiful thing in my opinion of what happens in life is what we've grown. Imagine if we never changed our minds about anything. Like that would be really sad. Because that means that we are not flexible enough to learn anything new.  So throughout the last year.

I've been putting messages out, videos, developing content, and it's become its own entity. It's part of the business, absolutely, but it's obviously become a little bit separate, because I don't spend too much time online, on my videos, talking about my programs or my business. I'm trying to develop Google Wheelbill, I'm trying to change the veteran culture, just one message at a time.

And throughout the year, I've realized that message, in a way, has evolved, has changed, and it's really come to the point where I'm realizing that  we have to learn to leverage.  The positive things that the military gave us, but we have to also understand that perhaps, and this is the unpopular opinion that a lot of people. 

And for your listeners, it might rub them the wrong way, especially if they're Marines, and you'll see what I mean. But I think that the term, once a Marine, always a Marine,  is actually hurting veterans.  I think the fact that we connect so strong to the military,  and then we leave,  and then it's a one sided relationship. 

You're no longer in the military doesn't  Think about you. They send you a letter here and there. The inactive reserves recruiter will pick you up if they need people for something, or if you want to do this or that, like  the Marine Corps had moved on. And yet we haven't, the army has moved on.

They've replaced you. Your team has replaced you. And this in a. Actual logical way, meaning that it's not like you didn't matter, it's just that in that time, in that place, in that location, the purpose is the mission, and the mission is that we have to keep moving, and we have to keep going, and that's just how life is. 

The Importance of Moving Forward and Creating New Chapters

But yet we keep thinking about the army, the Marine Corps, we keep thinking about our buddies up at Soon, and there's nothing wrong with that, we have to learn to cherish it, we have to learn that it was a beautiful chapter in our lives, but we have to learn that it is not the climax of our story, it is not  the best part of the book.

It needs to be a chapter, because we need to keep writing stories, we need to keep creating new chapters, and we need to keep coming up with new adventures to have, so people keep reading the book, because if our book of our life is not interesting, then what the hell is all this for, right?  Yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, it's, you're just singing such the perfect tune, because over the last,  I got out in 99, so you do the math. 

And I was in the reserves then, so it was like, and my mindset, I was so angry, I was so mad, and I was just like, fuck the world, fuck the Marine Corps, fuck this, blah, blah, blah, blah, I got out, and I didn't want anything to do with the Marines, and over years, it just took me time to figure out, you know what, it is a part of who I am, I'm good with it, and I am okay with the whole idea of once a Marine, always a Marine, But it's just a chapter of my life, right? 

It's just a small chapter of my life. It built the foundation of who I am. And everything you talked about, the nutrition, fitness, accountability, mindset,  I live my life every day because of how the Marines taught me how to be like that. I wasn't in trouble with the law, but I was a big fat pig. I was totally undisciplined, going in.

I came out and I ate that red pill. I loved it. I loved everything about the Marine Corps until I picked up a rocker and I hated it.  But yeah, and here's the thing. You're saying you're going to have good days, but you're gonna have a lot of bad days too. I have to look for those small wins.

And build on 'em, right? Because, yeah, I, I have professional, have life. I have God, I have fitness, I have everything going on, and I, it's it took me years to start going back to church, and I'm not a religious guy. I like the message. The message feeds me because I was ready to accept how to become a better human being. 

It wasn't the message or Matthew, whatever. I don't know the Bible. I love the message. I love the people. I love that community. And that's not like my wife, but it's a part of who I am. 

Building a Supportive Community for Veterans

Absolutely. My family and my friends, I build civilian friendships. I build friends. I still keep in touch with guys.

That's why I want you in first and seventh grade. I retouched with those people and I build myself back up from who I am and how I am and I incorporate my marine mindset to become a better person. Am I perfect? No. Am I going to have shitty days? Yes.  You're gonna get knocked down. And I had a friend that was, he used to live next door to me, he moved to a couple  towns away.

And he was a deputy sheriff, he worked in the jails and he hated his job. He hated everything. Everything was negative. Oh my god, life was falling apart in this one. Dude. Life is going to serve you a shit sandwich. It's your job to take that bite. Smile. Yeah. Because if you don't, you're going to keep on getting knocked down and kicked to the curb.

And that's what the Marie's taught you. You get down in the first thing are It was a receiving control instructor. He's we're going to throw you down on the ground. It's your job to get back up. I'm like, okay, let's do it. And that was it.  

The Power of Embracing Discomfort and Personal Growth

So I love what you're saying. I love your message. Yeah, I wanted to jump in.

You said a ton of stuff there. That 

part about not letting our service consume us. That is so huge. And you're spot on. That's a  challenge for, especially, I can't speak to women because I'm not a woman. I'd imagine it's the same. However, I can speak to men in that I think it's a big problem with men, males, in that  society built in a way to  make you need to have certain things to look successful,  right?

And so it's hard to do that in a society. Where all is access around you through social media, through Instagrams, whatever. And all these things that you're supposed to be, and you're not. And so you tend, you'll want to look back and say, when was I? That thing.  Oh, football. I played football in high school.

It's like the Al Bundy curse, right? Seven touchdowns in one game! Al Bundy forever lived, right? Old high school. Glory days.  I'm getting a little mad at myself with that old show. No, I know it's something, yeah.  And veterans, of course, it's the same thing. And it's that time in our lives where  We look back on those were the days and  I'll be damned if it's not true that there are times, man, I miss being on mission.

Like I miss that feeling of riding out in the convoy, doing pre brief going out and just that  the the energy of being that.  Young, that young buck with the weapon out there, with the mission. And so I totally get that and not, I don't feel bad about feeling that way. However, you said it right on point.

Letting to consume you. Having a hind,  having a vision of the past instead of a vision for the future. Yeah. So  that's beautifully said. You said it way better than I could. And I just, I'll just latch on to that and talk about how true that is for a lot of people. Yeah. It's just so true.

I'm just curious  you said it. I think one of the beauties of social media and the videos you've been doing  is, it's what Jordan Peterson, if anybody's followed him he says what writing does. It'll writing clarifies your thinking. In a way, doing all these videos and putting yourself out the way you have, it seems like it helps to clarify and reveal more of yourself. 

Probably in a lot of ways, right? And so that you are, this right here is doing that right now too. Clarifying your thinking. Yeah. Yeah. But you're being authentic, right? You're not trying to sell anything. You're being No, I just you're sharing your journey of healing. You both right now just make me realize something.

I have my phone and  I take notes on it for things that come up, but I also message my stuff so I have conversations with myself, so you can message yourself and it'll pop up as a message for yourself.  Whenever I have something that comes up that I want to dive into, I just pull my phone out and my send myself a little message is then it pops up as an application for me later on.

And what I wrote down right now is that there's a dichotomy to it. There's.  When you get out, you don't want to go to the extreme of You're right, the Marine Corps definitely played a huge part in who I am, and I think that the extremeness of it is the issue, but I think that when I got out, the way I reasoned it and wrote it down is that, you end one relationship and you get out into the civilian world and society and you're looking for that next love and you're looking for that next purpose, but you leave the Marine Corps behind for a little bit because I thought about it deeply and I'm like, I also was just angry at the Marine Corps and I wanted to distance myself from it and I did.

That's why I got fat, lazy, and didn't do a lot of things. But then you can't find that new love, or that new mission, or that new next relationship, or that new next purpose. And then you start thinking back to the girl days, and you start wearing, the Marine Corps hoodie and the hat, and the veteran this and the veteran that. 

And you're like this kind of makes sense. I missed this part of it. And then that's the part that I, there's something there. And I want to dive deeper into that. Because you guys both made me think about that right now. I didn't mean to cut you off there, Patrick. It was just, it came to me and I wanted to say it.

No, that's just free-flowing. When it comes to concerts, let it come out.  I think, however, I think it ends with, not ends, I would say, it leads to community, which I love how you phrase You know, the four pillars and with that fourth pillar being community cause I think that's a big, that's probably what so many veterans,  people, you name, whoever you are ultimately really want.

Yeah. In a lot of ways. It's not the thing. However, it's a thing for sure that people want and need and thrive with, whether it's a church whether it's a social club or, whatever it is, people who have those things in their lives just tend to thrive and do better. And  I know for myself, being a reservist, I have, I think I'm going into my 27th year.

I was able, thank God, I've had a great career. I haven't been hurt in any way. I've been physically healthy. And got to do a lot of great stuff though. And still in, right? So I still have my feet in it.  However, I can say, that when I'm not around, I miss being around the culture, I miss being around the soldiers, being part of the team. 

And  Miss seeing the short-haired guy? Short hair, yeah, I know, right?  I can say my brother, he retired as a sergeant major before he wanted to on his own terms. And I realized and talked to him and his experience, he was like Mr. Army to me when I was a kid. Yeah. He was like my hero. 

And when he got out, I realized that,  And the way he was speaking, you nailed it too, Hey, the army, I may love the army, but the army doesn't love me. It, it is just a machine that keeps going on. Yeah. It's just so hard because it was the first real thing that you had for most of us.

I don't know the percentages here.  But let's think about it, at least for me, at least for the three of us here, right? I don't know if the three of us for me,  when I was 18, right? When I was 17, because that's when I signed, right? And then when I was 18, I shifted off, right? When I was 17 I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do after high school.

And I'm not saying that's the only reason why we joined, but it's one of the reasons what's next? And then you see that freaking recruiter. And he doesn't chase you. He's you're going to the Navy officer, you're going to come in here. He doesn't care. He doesn't need you. And you realize oh shit  I like that.

I like the fact that I'm not being chased. And this person just completely Signifies strength, right? And it draws you in. And it's like the first time you fall in love. Oh my god, everybody remembers a recruiter, it's that kind of love of it's the first person that believed in me enough that he knew I could do it.

Because,  the Army,  no offense against the Army, I love all my, I gotta be careful. I knew it, I was waiting for it. I gotta be careful. I gotta be careful. You do absolutely do not. We're all having fun. We all poke fun at each other. We're allowed to have fun with that. That's it. Believe it. Yeah, but believe it or not, absolutely,  100%, but I've learned, Patrick was talking about like the social media being on, like I've learned that like the people that love  to troll and just bring you down when they see something that they can latch on to, they're gonna run with it. So I've learned not to be careful, but to understand that people will twist the message if given a chance.

So in order to avoid it, I'm not censoring myself. I'm just being clear with the message and making sure I address everything. So I love the army, but the army, the Navy, the air force, other branches,  their recruiting style is different. They're going to explain why.  The benefits of this can benefit you, right?

And then the Marine Corps is how can you benefit us? Why do we need you? Why should we take you? And it's just, it's rare. You don't really see that too often. It's a very different come from. A totally different come from. That's called a takeaway close, by the way.  In professional sales training, there's a takeaway close.

Here's a little taste. Get high on cocaine and you can come when you're ready. 

But I think you reminded me of something that I think is part of the challenge too. And that fourth pillar, I think is really addressed, really addresses this as well in a lot of ways for for,  I'm gonna say men in general, I can't speak for the women. I'm gonna speak for men.

And I think the military, in Western society, we don't really have that. Strong initiation process we had to bring young men or boys into manhood in a very organized cultural way where a lot of other societies have had that.  I think for, a Western society like ours, like a democracy like ours, it's the military does a really good job with that.

Or that, a good job, but it's replaced that for a lot of people. I know for me, that's what it did for me. There wasn't an organized way or an intentional path. That brought me into manhood, right? It was just an experience that bumbled my way through. Nobody guided me. I didn't have a strong church when I was growing  up.

There wasn't a bunch of strong male role models that were taking me by my hand and sitting me down once a week, having those conversations. None of that. It was the military that did that for me at 17 years old. So that that's what it was. And I'm not saying that's right or wrong, I'm saying that's what it is.

And,  right? And we still want that as we mature. And not the initiation part, but  the sense of belonging, the sense of acknowledgement, to know that I'm doing the things that, that my tribe seems, deems is Acceptable and it's good and right  and knowing that I'm on the path, right? Community is a big part of that.

So I love that you got that as part of your process, part of your, what you developed to bring to the community. So that is perfect. I think that it's so needed. To nurture a community where men and women veterans are growing, supporting, and reaching forward. Thank you. Whatever they want to do.

What are you doing for a community now? Do you have a group? Do you get together once in a while and chat, or? Yeah the biggest part about the group is that it's self sustaining and grows on its own with me watering, right? It's like watering the plant and helping them grow and grow together and be  a community, right?

That's basically what we're looking for. So we do have, I have a private Facebook group only for my clients. And then I also have an open Facebook group called The Vet Tribe,  which is open to anybody who wants to join. It's a place where they can grow organically as well, and I share stuff in there. But the private group specifically, in there,  we can post wins, we post celebrations, we support each other. 

I encourage all my clients to go in and be a little bit vulnerable because they learned that the power of vulnerability is pretty amazing because when you test the waters and you realize like you're not going to get burned and there's no support there and there are people that are going through what you're going through, you develop this like memory.

They're like, okay, I did this. It was safe. Therefore, I can do it again. And little by little, you start doing that more and more. We have coaching calls every Monday. So today at 6pm CST, we actually have Mindset Mondays where I go into the Facebook group and We spend about 15 to 20 minutes trying to develop a strong mindset for Monday, even though Monday is technically over, I want them to go into the rest of the week because everybody always dreads Monday, right?

But I want them to go into the rest of the week with true, just devotion for that week and making sure that they realize it's just Tuesday. It's just Wednesday. It's not about any day.  And then on Thursdays, we do Thriving Thursdays. On those Thursdays, we have a specific topic that we cover,  and they're all recorded, they're all posted in the group, so they always have access to them.

And we talk about different things, such as limiting self beliefs and negative self talking, the power of no, and learning to not volunteer for every freaking working party. Learning that you can  let go of relationships, that you can move on, that you don't have to live life the way you've been living it.

Developing morning routines, developing nighttime habits. Working on how to meal prep. So it's very much tactical as far as Actual things that they can apply as well as strategic, thinking about the long game, thinking about things that they can emotionally change in themselves. And we have a private group chat as well.

And in there  daily, like it's just popping off as far as Hey, I made it to the gym and I'm posting the gym selfie. And it serves a few purposes. It's not just about being social on social media. It's about being in giving into a group because we spend time on our phones anyway.  What better place to actually gift something into where you're going to get something back.

And we do that. Yesterday, we had four new. Members join and the first thing that I ask them to do once, once they sign up and they're ready to go and I get them all set up on the app. I have an app that I use for the fitness portion of it all and the nutrition, but as soon as they do that, the first time I was like, all right, John,  I want you to go into the Facebook group and you're going to post a video  introducing yourself.

I want you to tell us a little bit about yourself. Tell us why you're here, why you decided to make a commitment to yourself to actually change the way that your life is going. And what you're most excited about and typically the response I get back is a face of just discomfort.  And the reason I do that is because I want to push them into a little bit of discomfort initially I want them to realize like i'm about to do something uncomfortable And I want them to realize that I don't want them to just feel like it's whatever because at the end of the day like I want them to start from a place of discomfort because the moment that  They get 10 to 15 to 20 replies, comments, encouragements, people saying, I was there too.

Oh, I served in the second unit or, Oh, no way. My buddy this, like you go from that negative of discomfort to extreme positives and think about that shift, right? Because when you start here of okay, I'm going to do it. Nothing's gonna happen. It's whatever. And you end up here.

This is the growth that you have. But when you start from a place of the negative.  When you start from a place of this is not going to work out, I'm going to be embarrassed, no one's going to reply, I'm going to hate this is terrible, and you go all the way over here, you've crossed a  much more path of growth.

And that's what I have been doing, and  that's how we built the community.  That's awesome. Yeah, that's beautiful.  That was so great too.  Do you have them go out into the real world and talk about what else they do? Because  once you're done with the Marines or once you're done with the military, you have what I realized it was me giving up my ghost.

I didn't have a mission anymore. My depression came from, I miss the Marine. I don't miss the Marines. I miss my buddies. I miss the mission. I miss doing something. I miss.  Training and going, because I never saw combat, not like you guys, right? I was Desert Storm, that was my job, and I got stuck in Okinawa, in Hanson, for a while.

That's a whole nother thing I talked about. Sorry? That's a whole nother thing I talked about.  Yeah, right? You can still live there, and even if you deploy, I gotta  accept that, right? And a lot of people don't.  I'd say that's probably a huge problem  that doesn't get as much. Attention, respect, or love compared to the other narrative, or not narrative, the other situation where we're better than  the challenges. 

But that's also a challenge too.  And I probably, I didn't mean to jump in there. Go ahead. Yeah, it's okay. I go through guilt. I go through lack of confidence. I see other guys wearing their little freaking raw shit and better than this. I'm like you know what? I better not talk to him. I don't know. 

Because I don't feel like, but I know I am, I know I totally deserve it,  but then there's that lack of confidence. There's that little boy coming out and saying, for sure, you don't deserve it, man, shut your fucking mouth. Don't even talk to him. But who knows? I could, what the reality is  is I could reach out to him and I can have a 10 minute conversation and I could save his life because I mentioned something.

Who knows? So there's an opportunity. Always. And, I regret a lot of times that I don't get the, that I don't do that.  To, and I feel that all the time.  The thing is I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm not going to be perfect  and that's okay. And giving up that ghost, going back in 99, when I gave it up realizing that I wish I could go back.

I wish I could go back. And then  my, my wife was in the hospital with my twins. We had high risk twins. She had to stay there for two months. And I have a 4-year-old boy at the time. He's 21 now. So I went to a little thing, a little carnival, and I saw my old CEO. He goes, Hey, Nikia, I'm going to Afghanistan.

I want you to come along with me. I'm like, oh,  . I  can't, I can my, I have two daughters. I hear you days old in nicu, right? There's no freaking way I would've been divorced.  I wouldn't have been able to watch my children and part of the reason why I got out is because I wanted to watch my children grow up.

Think about that decision and the impact that it created in your life because  the guilt,  hopefully,  eventually, maybe already, but  it should be washed away by the fact that you had the fortitude, the mental clarity to realize that the decision that you're making is heavy and it's going to influence the future of your life and the future of your kids.

We  got to remember at the end of the day, like  you're an individual, we're all individuals. And as much as I love the Marine Corps, my country and all of that,  we played a small part that we need to, when we need to, and everybody plays a part in when we deploy, we do what we can. And when we don't deploy, we do what we can here and everybody  is a part of the machine.

Absolutely. But we have to like, think about the emotional side and the side that really matters. The most of all of that  is that we have families, we have a future. We have. Emotions. And when we don't feel like those emotions, those feelings, when we don't treat ourselves as human beings and we pretend like they don't matter,  it translates to, I can't talk about my problems.

I can't approach my friend to talk about  how angry I am that we left Afghanistan the way we did and how I feel like I wasted all my time in, which is a whole nother thing, right?  The guilt that maybe you felt or feel or had the experience with was I didn't employ. I think that there's something new that is happening, at least for me, and I haven't really talked too much about this yet, so this is new, but I think there's this guilt of what did I do that even mattered?

Reflecting on Military Service

I spent a year there, nine and a half months.  And  it's almost as if it never even happened, like the country is exactly where it was, if not worse than it was before. Why were we there? What did we build? We left all these  weapons, and I'm not here to talk about the politics of it, because we know that when you throw down that pocket, it serves no one, right?

By the way, you look like General Mattis when I just looked at you right now. Mad Dog Mattis. That's the best feeling I got right now. Bro. Bro. Oh man. Now he's going off on you. I know. Now he's never gonna let it go off on me. But. But. 

The Impact of War on Mental Health

To round off that thought is like, there is the guilt  of, nah, but then there's also what did I do for the past,  six years of my life in the Marine Corps?

What was it all for? 

If it's almost worse off, probably not than it was before. Why did my friends die? Why did,  why do I have five friends that committed suicide in my platoon? Why do I have three of 'em that dri that, that have died from  what they call natural occurrences, but it's not natural to drink yourself to death.

Yeah, it's not,  no I just had a  Yeah, it's a good, I received a phone call. 

Sharing Personal Stories of Loss

No  I received a phone call about a week ago.  And one of my buddies that I served with, and unfortunately, if  history has anything to tell me, is that when one of them calls me, it's because they have something to tell me. 

And  I always let it ring three or four times when I answered,  and I was partially right. And once I got out, that was it. that we deployed with, that sort of we served with, had passed away.  And  it was a very long four days for me.  Not for the reason you would think, but because we weren't sure  if  it was  a decision he made or if it was something that happened to him. 

And then when I found out that it, he was found in his sleep, surrounded  by bottles, it didn't really change  the way I saw it, because it still felt like it was  a decision.  That he had made because of what he had been through,  and at the end of the day, you just don't know  what could have been different for him,  had we not been out there, and then come back, and then just told, by the way,  Everything that you did out there in that country that we said we were helping and making a difference in, we're abandoning him. 

You just don't know if that's the reason why he kept drinking. You just don't know if that's the reason why he didn't seek therapy. You just don't.  

The Struggle with Survivor's Guilt

And that eats at me because it's like,  what do you do  about that problem in your mind that you can't even put a name to?  How do you even address that? 

I think it takes work. I think it takes time. 

The Importance of Open Dialogue

I think it takes this, the talking about it. That's the first time I honestly have said that entire  paragraph, at whatever, out loud. And I know eventually the more I talk about it, the more that it will make a little bit more sense and  hopefully find a little more clarity and  develop some sort of reasoning behind it, right?

Learning from Failure

Because if we don't  fail, if we don't fall, when do we ever learn that lesson? Because when you win,  you feel like, okay, It happened. I did what I was supposed to do, and this happened. But when you fail, you can really look back and analyze, like, where could I have done better? And I think there's lessons in there as well. 

Hopefully talking about it brings more clarity in the future. That's the best thing you can do, is talk about it. Thank you for sharing that. That means a lot to me. I think what's oh, sorry, go ahead, Vito. 

The Aftermath of Military Service

No, I had a friend, a Marine,  who  got out, and he OD'd, right? I was like, that was the first time.

My entire life I ever heard of anybody committing suicide,  and he was just never a happy guy and  we were in the same platoon, he was a machine gunner, I was a mortar man,  and we were never saw eye to eye, we weren't best friends or anything, we weren't like he wasn't like Madding or Bustani or the fricking Death Row.

Those are my guys, right?  But he, we would mess around, fuck around, hang out.  Got into trouble a little bit and that was cool. But it was just like,  losing somebody like that's close. It's that close to you.  I don't know, it's tough, right?  But 

I can't, to me, and I don't know how you feel with it, right? But for me, it affected me. It made me angry.  And it was like, that's not what we're here for.  There was an instant switch in my mind that's  not what we're here for. We're here to  commit good, right? And we went into the Marine Corps to commit good.

We went into for a reason, right? Because it was the military. We want to do it for America. No matter how you look at America right now, right? That was our mindset. 

The Transition from Military to Civilian Life

And then we got brainwashed. And our mindset was changed to become killers. And that's our job, right? Whether you did or didn't, that's, that was your job.

And to me,  when I saw Balog and I heard that he killed himself, we all went together and talked about it and went to a little bar and hung out and chatted about it. But it affected me. And, it's one of those things that  I accepted the anger, I accepted the pain, I accepted not being able ever to punch him in the face again. 

But he made that choice, right? I can't feel guilty for it. There's the anger part, and that's something that, over time, has gone away.  I could have reached out to him,  right? But I didn't. He wasn't my best friend, and we didn't have that relationship.  But there's,  and since then I've had people kill themselves.

I had my brother-in-law kill himself on alcohol. He was just pissed off because he got fired from a job that You know, he was supposed to make millions of dollars on and they screwed him over and that went down a massive spiral and I saw him just continue to do that. Yeah.  Could I have been a better person about it?

Could I have been more active about getting to it?  No, because I was dealing with my own demons, right? I had to do what I had to do.  And again, you  please don't think that I'm telling you how to do this, right? This is how you're good. I'm making this all and you're good, right? Because you have to figure that out.

That's your journey. And I'm happy that you talked about how you did it and what you're feeling. And  it's the more you talk about it, the more you go out. It's I still go and hang out with my buddies from the Marines. There's a few of them over here. We go fishing, Henry and I, whenever I go on a trip to go do a talk for real estate or whatever,  I go, Henry, I'm going to Florida this day to this day.

He goes, book me a flight. Done. And then we go and act like we're 21 again.  That's the only time I drink. Whenever I go and hang out with him. Other than that, I don't drink. I hang out. I eat fairly decent.  I work out five days a week. But I didn't, it wasn't like snap boom. Here I am.  And I'm not perfect today.

I still have goals of where I'm going, but the way I did it was I bit off a little bit every day, micro, micro improvements every day. And  I can tell you, I fell a lot more than I succeed.  And that's my chase. That's my reason for being is to become a better person.  It reminds me of something you said earlier, JP, about the I totally understand what you mean by the  there can be a disservice from the.

The context, I guess is what I'll call it, around once a Marine, always a Marine.  Yeah, the context. The context that somebody has around that can be detrimental to you. Because you're always looking at the past, right? I think the more successful veteran who transitions and does well in the future is one who says, yeah, once a Marine, always a Marine because I can take those things I learned and bring it into my life that are positive and I'm using them today.

These are tools I use.  Whether it's I worked out every morning in the Marine Corps, the Army, whatever it was, and  Once a Marine, always a Marine, so I'm working out this morning and I'm having a great time doing it, right? So it's just a matter of what meaning we derive from it and how we use it moving forward.

Absolutely. And so when I see something like what you're building, it can remind people of that, right? Hey, take the good, leave the bad, right? Yes. Move forward with what you want to move forward with and and then those things with the right context. Yep. And totally be powerful and just, and it's just really just a tool to move ourselves forward. 

So it's beautiful. 

The Struggle with Identity Post-Service

Everything I was thinking about too is, and I have an unpopular opinion about this and it is my opinion and it's not meant for every single veteran,  right?  It's not meant for every single veteran. It's not, I'm speaking generally, and it's very different for any individual person.

It is my opinion that most veterans, when they joined the military, based on the experiences and the way they grew up from like zero to six or seven years old.  Whatever happens during that time can decide a lot about how you deal with adversity and experiences moving forward. It's not going to define everything, but it's going to be a lot.

If you have challenges,  if I had challenges with substance abuse, or it runs in my family, before I ever joined the military won't cause my substance abuse, but man, it's going to really affect my ability to  withstand it once I get out, depending on the context I've developed or built around myself around that experience. 

So I'm using a lot of words to basically say 

that depending on my experience growing up, it's going to decide a lot of how I deal with things that happen to me in the future.  And that's for most people. Without going too far down that path, what I think is beautiful also about the community you're building,  veterans are uniquely qualified, in my opinion, to continue serving  in a mission based way to build their communities. 

So programs like yours have a awesome capability of improving the way Something becomes a father,  right?  And so they have children who from zero to seven that super formative foundational time in their lives,  have a strong male role model in their life to help support and guide them through that initiation process that we talked about earlier.

So it's not just the military. Oh, and by the way, they don't do it in the military because they don't know what else to do. And since they had such a shitty childhood, they end up getting stressed out and they get out because they don't do now, so they're drinking, binging, doing drugs, and doing all kinds of crazy stuff and some of them don't make it. 

Absolutely. Maybe I'm not making sense. Maybe I am. No, you are. It, I don't mean to, let me just jump into it real quick, but yeah, I'm thinking  when someone tells me something like this I immediately try and position myself in a story of is this something that happened to me and how do I reflect on it?

And I think honestly, if you do that, you're going to come up with some stuff in your mind of whether this applies, doesn't, how does it, or how does it translate for you? But I think you are Yeah. Yeah. On to something as far as the formative, like young years, what you experienced, what you go through  no matter what it's going to affect you.

And I think that the Marine Corps if I'm understanding correctly,  can either exacerbate or give you the tools to deal with the maybe nuances or things that you experienced dramatically or went through when you were younger.  

The Importance of Mental Health and Self-Care

So when you get out, you're still going to have to deal with the mission.

But did you develop tools?  Or are you going to suffer because you didn't? Maybe that's just my interpretation of it, which I think is fine. 'cause don't interpret stuff differently, but I understand what you're saying. You're saying better than I can. I, that's exactly I think that's exactly what I'm trying to say is I like to think everything's functionally, so Yeah. 

I,  yeah. Correct. When did you get up?  2013 I did the  voluntary early release program B. U. R. P. Which negatively affected the Marine Corps in so many ways they didn't even realize, but they lost almost,  I think it was 80 to 90 percent of their combat experience when they put that program into place and they didn't expect it to happen.

Two things were happening I'm going off, I know you asked a question and I answered it, but. This is important to me because two things happened when that happened in 2013. They were forcing out sergeants who were not up for selection for staff sergeant. And that happened a lot and that affected a lot of people because their plan was to stay in.

They were careerists. And just because they weren't selected for staff at the 10 year mark, they were forced out.  One of my buddies ended up taking his life because of that because he lost what he, what his career and then with what they did with us is they said, okay, you can get out as long as you have some sort of employment, some sort of, and it could honestly be anything.

So a lot of people took that as an opportunity to, cut ties and like, all right, I'm gonna get out early. And I did that. I went to work for a private security firm up in San Francisco and I got out.  About a year early and a lot of people took the opportunity and the Marine Corps lost a large percentage of all the combat experience and everyone that they were left with  didn't have it and they had to find a way to move forward and I heard it was pretty difficult from what I've heard.

To answer your question, 2013. So I heard, just another part of that segway, or that  rabbit hole,  I heard that  They're marine, they're really good marines that should have picked up staff. And they were really horrible Marines that were really should have been pos and just swapped off and slackers, and it was more of a political move.

I didn't say that, by the way, for anybody. I was not, I've been out since 99, so they can't tell, see the way the people are  and the, but I saw it from not just the infantry, it was all walks of life and it was a normal thing. That if you're politically  inclined to be favored in your unit, you're going to get the tap. 

If you're not, if you're, one little thing, or your CO doesn't like you, or your platoon commander doesn't like you, or whatever, your staff, first sergeant thinks you're a piece of shit for whatever reason, because you didn't pick up your socks one day, and he caught you, you're not, that's the end of your career.

And that's bullshit, toxic.  Crap that makes the Marine Corps that's one of the shit. That's why I got out, right? Yeah  But that's neither here when you got out. What was the transition? What did they do to help you transition?  I got freaking green weed. I heard it's changed some since and  I actually, I had one of my clients that is he works for  a financial readiness firm.

And they actually go to the TAPS classes now where they actually do. 

The Power of Community and Connection

They try and prepare Marines financially, offer them services before they get out.  I want to say  I had a,  I don't know if it was two days or two weeks, two weeks sounds like too long. I think it was like a three year, two day thing where you dress up in civilian attire and you go and you sit in the classroom and all these experts and people come through and they talk to you about, this is how you apply for your benefits.

This is how you. This is how you do a resume. This is how you create a normal email that doesn't have the word Semper Fi in it. All these little things. And  honestly, the problem with that for me was that like I'm still in, I didn't do it like on my last week in service. I think I did it like. 

I don't know, three or four or five months in, it's a check in the box for the Marine Corps, for the unit hey, did so and so complete his TAPS classes? And they just send you, and once it's done. And then you go back and you're a Marine still. You're not going to get to apply any of those things that you just learned.

And that's all that the Marine Corps did for me. And  it was very uneventful. I got my DD 214. And I went to my platoon and I was doing that early out program. So technically I was still  in, but I was on very long terminal and I went to this new job in San Francisco and grew my hair out and I was working this job and no ties to the Marine Corps really at all.

And I remember my last day leaving and I was so bummed out because a week before One of our other guys got out, and at the time of the day that they did it, it was after formation, it was his last day, he was about to leave, it was on like, I think a Friday, so it was like very ceremonial, and they pulled the platoon, and we pulled them behind the barracks, and we gave them a pink belly.

And I didn't get one, and I was so angry about that, I'm like, did they not love me enough to beat me up a little bit?  There was a random Wednesday at noon. And I think they were all getting ready to go out into the field. They were in their rifles and their radios and it was unceremonious. And  just like that I'm out.

I don't know if that answers your question. I think it went off on a bit of a tangent. It does, because part of my problem Part of me recognizing that I had to give up my ghost. So I went to a counselor  and I had to walk through it. It took me years to identify  what the problem was. And there was no identification back in that day, right?

We didn't know. We, you're allowed, you're out, go get a civilian job. Go ahead. Yeah, I had my first job was  selling sheets at a mall, like bed sheets.  My problem, and I  don't know what it's like to be in the Army or Navy, and I'm not saying that it's any different, but in the Marine Corps, we get brainwashed. 

Yeah. We get brainwashed, like you wouldn't believe, right? It's you are, right? You assume that, and that's part of the problem is that there's no this in doc, or I don't even know it because there's no such thing, but there's no psychological, we get psychologically  molded into Marines JJT type of goal, leadership principles immediate action, all this other stuff that gets pounded in your head and you get out there and you're  An authorized killer.

That's your job. You can't even use your name for three months for crisis. Absolutely. Disrecruited. 

The Journey of Personal Growth

Disrecruited.  Why don't we have something like that deprograms  all the veterans. And it's not just, we're deprogramming you from the military. This is how you're going to transition. Because, it would put you out of business, right?

But right. That's why we're having these conversations so that we can go out and say, Hey, look, brass, I don't know if you saw that, that there's a news article, Camp Pendleton, I think it was the School of Infantry just got looked at there's mold, there's decrepit living conditions, there's trash everywhere.

And how dare they do that to our military? How dare they, right? How dare they let the maintenance of these buildings where we're shacking up these Marines, right? When I was in the Marines, we went to Camp Talaga. When I was in the reserves, I went to Camp Talaga for a two week thing, and there was mold, and  the sewage was Flooding back into the houses.

There's no running water. It was decrepit situation. It was like the Gober pile Quonset huts. I don't know if you ever went over there,  but how dare they allow  Marines or military to live in conditions like that.  It's worse than being in jail, right? I have an opinion on that.  I think that it's because we accept it.

I think it's because we embrace that suck, right? Like  In a way, we're, yeah, let's,  if it was unacceptable, then it would be unacceptable. But because  that sergeant major that allows it to happen, that freaking gunner sergeant, that first sergeant, that staff sergeant, that sergeant, that corporal, because they went through it and it was acceptable back then.

And you found a way to deal with it because you know what?  You always do more with less. We're the Marine Corps. We are freaking the pit bull of the military. We don't care if our equipment is terrible, we're going to be able to bash your head in with the freaking end of our K Bar. We almost take a little bit of pride in that fact that we don't need the best equipment.

I will freaking  do enough with my K Bar that, I know that the Army can't do it. I think that there's, there I go. Don't take it personally. Yeah. But I  think that there's something in there. Yeah, you're totally, that's totally it. As a matter of fact, it's as simple as this. We know it is acceptable because  it's still wrong.

I'm with you, Vito. It's not right or wrong. We're not making a debate about whether it's right or wrong, but I know it's acceptable there because you got it.  It was unacceptable, it would not.  Absolutely. And I just think that's been my culture. I think you're right. Yeah, and if you're a boot lieutenant, or even a fresh captain, or a brand new major, the first thing you're going to do is, Oh, maybe I should check on my troops.

And you look at them, and you're like, You know what? If I raise the bar, My hand. Yeah. It's not your problem. Let the, if the staff sergeant is taking care of them and he's not saying anything, then I, why would I, yeah. 

The Impact of Military Culture

And if I went up to my battalion commander and I said, sir, they're living in decrepit conditions, you're gonna come back to me or he's gonna come back to me just like you did.

. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. It's a culture thing. A culture thing. It's perfect. Yeah. It's a culture thing. But  for Christ's sake, it's. It's the health and welfare of our military. It's not just the Marines, because I'm sure that there's How many freaking army bases are there?

A hundred and forty different army bases? No, that's a military wide issue, for sure. Yeah, absolutely.  And there's nobody policing with the Air Force, if yeah, probably not.  But just an example of how hard it is to fight culture I think just in that example you would think, so an outsider or somebody who wouldn't know better wow, the Marine School of Industry, that place must be squared away.

But if you dig under the layers and understand the context of the culture, you can totally say just like how you unpack that JP, like how that, Oh, I will unpack context. This is why, and and  take that out of farther. Talk about the culture that  you just described when you separated from service, I'm going to be a W wearing the guard, having the beers, talking more stories, and then that becomes the excitement of your life over.  The high of your week and then the drudgery of the everyday life that you're trying to get through to make it to Saturday night or Friday night to have that beer to tell the worst story again, talk about how much society sucks and America sucks and this that the other like that's a culture too.

Absolutely. Huge part of veteran culture.  And and that's what you're fighting as well. And so it takes and it's going to take a minute for sure. I want the veteran to be able to not dread that random Wednesday when they're going into class and they're dealing with 20 something year olds and realize there's something I can learn here.

I have to drop that ego of me being older, I'm better, I'm wiser. Cause if you have the mentality, you're not going to learn anything. And then before you know it, like you're going to look forward to that Friday, going to the VFW and having a beer and you know what? Just complaining about how much you hate this world.

You live in this world now. Like you've got to make the best of it by doing something about it. And I want that veteran to be able to go into class on that Tuesday and be the group leader for his project or be willing to inspire and motivate another young individual and learn something like.  If you feel like you know everything, that's all you're gonna learn. 

If you feel like you know it all what do you know? Always be willing to learn. I'm 55 years old.  I always learn like before we got on JP, you and I were talking about connecting my URL to my blog and I'm going to mess it up and I'm just, okay, I'm going to spend the time today to figure out, I'm not going to sell the house today,  figure out how to.

Bricks this blog thing and it's you know, and it's i'm sure it's just one little tiny thing that i'm missing and it is what it is But i'm always more there's probably more you're missing. I  told you that's me It's freaking the dope behind the gun.  I know we're getting to now we're here though.

And and I just want to be respectful of your  I'm good for a little bit longer, but we can how about we We'll end on whenever you feel a high note is to that I have a another  30 minutes, but I'm good at ending it whenever you feel like we have that. Yeah, we'll go a little bit longer here, and like I said, this stuff can be used for a lot of things with your permission.

100%, 150 percent go for it. I'd like to have you back on again a couple times. I'd love to. I'd love to have you as a regular. Yeah, I love talking about this stuff. Now, I want to man, because I think what you're building is great. I think next time if I'm not able to get more into your pillars, I don't want to shortchange it though, so we'll do it next time.

Because I'm super, in the last couple years, especially this last year, I got very focused on who I wanted to serve going forward. Just realized, wow, we have this whole we have this whole veteran generation that's coming out, and there's a lot of resources out there to support them moving forward.

And if we can help shift the culture to empower a young veteran,  or an older veteran, oh, you gotta cut that part out. Continue that service to help build the community, raise up strong families, and help bring the country further together. 

The Struggle for Change and Improvement

Whether you're on the left side or the right side, it doesn't matter what your politics are, at the end of the day, we're all Americans and but first, it comes with  healing yourself and creating a powerful relationship with yourself, the longest relationship we'll ever have is that one, right?

And getting down to the core and getting to the source of it. We are the source. Each one of us is the source of everything we create in our lives. And the better we treat ourselves, the more right we get there, the more we fix the brokenness there. The more is possible. So that's what's beautiful about what you're creating, man.

So I'm excited to support it any way I can I really appreciate that. I really do. And I want to add one thing to what you mentioned. Because you hit on a point that really,  I've realized is very important. But  the mentality that we have of being resilient serves us in a huge way when we're out.

And it's one of those things that you can leverage.  But one of the things I've heard from a lot of older veterans is that, I'm so happy you're doing this for the younger generations. I wish I would have had this when I got out. I'm still suffering, but You know what, as long as you're helping those new guys, like that not me mentality or like it's too late for me or just the mentality of I'm stuck in my way and then this is just the way life is for me.

It really hurts a lot of older veterans. And when I say older veterans, As far as, I've been out for 10 years, and I don't mean old in age, old in time of reference of how long you've been out, because a lot of people think I've been out for 10 years, this is my life, I created it, this is where I'm at, nothing's gonna change, I'm setting my ways, I'm just happy that this message is being put out for the younger veterans, but here I am going through a divorce, I have a drinking problem, and I haven't worked out in freaking 5 years, but I'm just happy that this message is out there for those young guys to know, and that really hurts a lot of veterans, cause they feel like,  The message isn't for them oh, I'm just happy it's out there for those that are receiving it.

And some of them do join and thankfully they've made some changes. And let's be clear. For me, I, and you're right I hear that in my own conversion for what I've I've, I'm doing, and , what I usually hear is that's a great excuse not to do anything. When you say I'm glad they're, I'm not, and not, I'm using that very generally.

That's not true for every, not everybody. It's not nothing that's black and white.  Oh. But for many, I think it is, like it's a good excuse to not have to move, not have to change. to stay in that place of being a victim to the circumstance of what happened. And and it can be scary to make a change, frankly.

It's, whether, even if that, if it's a positive thing for you and the circumstances are terrible, it is still scary. And it is a risk to change it up. So I can, I get that too, for a lot of folks. And I think that's a, I'm glad you brought that up. Because what you're doing is not just to be, put on the shelf or pigeonholed.

into a place that it's just for some new veteran transitioning. No, it's not. This is for anybody who can benefit from it. And it doesn't matter if you're a veteran or not, right? Because I know so many civilians with that same mindset. This is the one, I don't know, I'm sold. My dad, he's 75, 76 years old.

He's in the hospital right now with pneumonia. This guy for the last 20 years has been spiraling down into despair, self despair,  physical, lack of physical activity, guy walks around with a cane,  and it's killing my mom because his mindset is, I'm going to sit in front of the TV and watch Fox News and yell at the TV and I'll, and, honey, can you bring me my dinner?

My mom's rebelling right now because she's pissed off at him because he's just given up.  And guys, if you're listening to this, guys and ladies,  if you're listening to this, there's no reason for you to give up on life. 

The Power of Resilience and Perseverance

There's if you can only do one pushup and you can't even do one pushup, it's at least a start,  right? 

You can get yourself up to 50 pushups, and I see that as a physical thing, but it's mental it's fitness, it's everything. You gotta start. You gotta want to make that change. And yes, sometimes it's scary. And yes, when you start something physical again, you're going to be sore for two weeks.

But there's, on the other side of that, there's just so much hope and so much energy and so much motivation.  And, and when we're thought on,  sum it up for me, it's like  the best is always yet to come, depending on the choices we make and our service, our career our time in uniform should never be the only highlight that we could fall on.

It should just be, it should be an experience that for me, it's an experience I draw upon to pull me forward.  And that is easy to say, and it sounds good. It's hard in practice, and harder for some than it is for others. And any support that we can get around those who, it's hard to do that, to make that choice, because it is easy to say.

It's something that looks nice on paper and reads well. Hard in practice. This resource that you've put together, I'm sure it's a, it's in creation still. I'm sure you're still perfecting it. So I'm excited to see what you do with it over the next coming years. I'm sure it's not complete.

And there's still a lot more coming forward in JP as well.  Yeah, it's it's a work in progress always, but it's pretty built up right now to the program where we've had over a hundred veterans come to the program as far as starting to finish. Most of them,  a good percentage of them make some really big changes in their lives.

We have veterans in the group right now that  finally had the  clarity to start therapy, apply for that job that they've always wanted. Build up the resume,  have that conversation, move out of their parents basement, end their relationship, like we're, they're empowering themselves by taking the action, it's, you can have the best strategy in the world, that, that map, but unless your mindset is in a good enough place where you're doing the work you're gonna have that doubt, and then the strategy doesn't even matter  all of it works together. 

You have to remember that when you look in the mirror, and then, you're wearing that hoodie that brings you back to the old days, like for me, it's this one, this is the 

And for me looking at this reminds me of the fact that I've done something hard, that whatever comes my way, it's just another challenge and it's not overwhelmed on this opportunity. And I try and look at every day as an added value. Everything that comes your way, waking up in the morning and jumping in my ice barrel for me, it's like, it's a gift.

I get to do that. I do it. And then I feel better afterwards. And then I can freaking just destroy the day with everything that I have.  There's just no reason to slow down. And when you can come across  those challenges in life and you can actually look at them and try and detach a little bit and look back and realize there's a lot of positive things that the military gave me.

I'm not against the military in any way. I love my time in the Marine Corps, best years of my life up until I had the next best years of my life. And I had, I have children and now these are the best years of my life. And every year of your life, you should be trying to make it the best years of your life, because if we don't have that, then what do we have? 

Absolutely. You know what? Next year is going to be better. I  totally agree with you. And 

so I, I hire a lot of VA's,  virtual assistants out of the Philippines. And their mindset is, Oh shit, I messed up. I can't say anything. So they're going to bury it. No. You messed up.  Let's talk about it. Let's cherish it. This is how we learn how we get better from our mistakes. And I make mistakes every day.

And I do three, I do four videos every, live videos every week, every day, every week on what's going on in the market. And sometimes I make a mistake and that's okay. I don't care. I don't care anymore. I used to be in like, in high school, and I'd daydream or look at Suzy rotten crotch and daydream about, do whatever I want to do with her.

And then all of a sudden I get back into the conversation. The lecture, I totally forget about what's going on and I was like, I have a question, but I'm so stupid. I don't want to  look stupid as asking another question that he just, talked about  when I went back to school, I graduated with my degree, my bachelor's  when I was 41.

So I was an old man of San Jose State  and  I had no qualms asking questions because I didn't get things and I'm like, I went up to the professors. I go, look, it's been years. You've got a pound of stuff into my head  and they appreciated it.  So  the totally flip that conversation. So flip that conversation, things,  people are always going to be there to lift you up.

There's going to be 5 percent of those people that are trolls that will try to bring you down. You have to ignore them. You wanna find your, you gotta find your tribe and you have a great tribe going and I appreciate what you're doing.  I appreciate you guys. Thank you.  On jp. So I'm excited to stay in touch, man.

I'm do this again sometime soon and I would love that, love to see how big and bad you make it.  I appreciate that. I have some pretty freaking big dreams and I think everyone, I can't wait to see you on the talking circuit, going around the United States, talking to marine to veterans and I really want that.

Yeah, that's, we'll talk more about that next time because I think that one of the most powerful things that you can do for yourself is to truly see yourself in a grandiose light because if that's your goal, that's your aim, imagine where you're gonna end up no matter what,  if you aim for the stage, if you aim for more from life, and I get it, it's not for everybody, not everybody wants that, but if you can you. 

Find a way to envision more for yourself that man  sky's the limit for you, you know for everybody  I have a talk. 

The Importance of Setting Goals

I have a talk that I do and  I want to make a million dollars,  right? And it's called the BHAG big hairy audacious goal. Ooh, I've never gotten to it. You know what? That's my goal every year I want to make a million dollars till I get to it.

No, but you know what I get halfway there You got two thirds of the way there three thirds of the way. Who cares? It doesn't matter One day I'm going to get to that and then my next goal is going to be 2 million, 5 million, right? Absolutely. Keep moving it down, keep going. Keep moving it further and further because you can keep going, the process of who you become and the pursuit. That's the journey. The journey.  I think we should end it there. Yeah.  We have plenty of stuff that we can talk about another time.  And we can talk about your feelings on Sniper School ending for the Marine Corps.  Did I hear that right? Oh man, you had to just bring that up right now. 

Hey man, I'm gonna jab back. When I get re incoming, prepare for return fire.  Yeah. That's alright, you know what's gonna happen, they're just gonna end up going to an army school. That's what's gonna happen. No I think it's gonna come back. I think it's, and that's me being hopeful. 

That could be like the romantic in me of like, how did, like why did you bring that up? Same reason why they got rid of Assault, right? Because they're going to smaller, smarter units. I understand the mindset. You still have to I don't.  Don't worry. I've been out long enough and I've lost that edge.

I know.  I get it. It's the new mission of the Marine Corps. Softer,  softer targets. Smaller targets.  Actually, I actually know a lot about this only because  we ain't going to be able to tell you. But anyway, there is a strategy. I'm not saying the strategy is right, but and it can be made with two senses.

It's a love of business. I've done some research on it. Yeah, sure. We'll see. We'll see how it works out. But I think it'll probably come back in a different form at some point. And it's going to take some lessons learned for it to happen. They're just,  they're re